the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize