What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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