how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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