Please, let me fuck your mom
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize