I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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