Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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