I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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