I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
