I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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