I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There are leaves in my underwear?
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