it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
