it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
