my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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