it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
