just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
