I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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