party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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