Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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