we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why do cheetos always look like penises
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize