watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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