All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
