dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
