he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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