I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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