So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
