We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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