WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize