He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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