oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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