I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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