I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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