I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
