Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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