It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
