im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
