Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
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Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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