you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
