we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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