Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
