people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
