It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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