The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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