she looked like the before picture.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
