Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
