a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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