the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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