I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
