i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
a search helicopter?!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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