he thought i was a dude.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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