So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
