My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
