I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's rum buckets o'clock
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
