best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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