three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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